Of course!

Waiting tables. I've done it. It's a hard job. I do not, however, think that it is exactly rocket science. I'm a pretty good tipper when the service is adequate, but I do not subscribe to the theory that every waitron (love the word waitron) deserves an automatic tip regardless of the service they provided. I do think that if they go above and beyond that you can feel free to tip them more.

It would be a rare occasion that I would completely stiff someone, or leave only a penny, which I was always told was worse than no tip at all. I know that wait staff work for only a partial wage and that their tips make up the rest of their salary. Friday I left my first low tip in a long time. My friend and I went out to lunch. My friend, me and her 4 month old. We went fairly early, so it wasn't very crowded.

You could tell from the start that this woman was going to be a problem. She was the loud, over-eager, asked too many questions type. She had big fluffy multi-colored, over-processed hair and lipstick that went outside the lines. Not that you should judge your waitress by appearance, but come on.

Waitron: Heeeeeey! You're going to have a baby! And you already have one! Wow!
Me: Uh huh.
Friend: Yep.
Waitron: Are you going to have an epidural!?
Me: Um....can I have a brunch menu, please?
Waitron: Of course! (hustles off)

[ten minutes pass]

Waitron: Are you ladies ready to order?
Me: Um, can I have a brunch menu please?
Waitron: Of course! (returns with menu and water)

[ten minutes pass]

We finally order and actually receive our meal in a reasonable amount of time and all food is correct. Waitron does not bother us for the entire meal. The end of the meal arrives and we are ready to go. Waitron has disappeared from restaurant. She is no where to be seen for many, many minutes. We chat.

[fifteen minutes later]

Waitron: How was everything?
Me: Great! Can we just get our check and a to go box please?
Friend: And some more water?
Waitron: Of course! (scuttles away)

[ten minutes later]

Waitron: Are y'all ready for your check? Would you like one or two?
Me: Two would be great. And a box. And some water.
Waitron: Of course!

[some more minutes]

Waitron arrives with two checks and stands there and watches us while we fish out money and credit cards. Takes checks away. Returns quickly and passes out receipts.

Me: Um? Could we get that box? And some water?
Waitron: Of course!

She did eventually bring a box, but we never did see the water. She also at some point regaled us with tales of her granddaughter's birth and complimented my friend's baby's impressive leg rolls. My bill was $8.65. What would you have tipped?