Monday, April 24, 2006


My throat hurts right now. You know why? Because I was just screaming within a foot of my second snake within two days. You know what? I am not a fan of the snake. They don’t quite give me the willies the way the many-legged creatures do, but good grief! Who wants to bump up to a snake?

Last night, Gus and I went for a walk with a friend. Gus is a great walking dog for one reason: he doesn’t pee or poop in other people’s yards unless we stop to talk. He is all business on a walk. His goal? To find bunny rabbits and chase them. No time for peeing. He saves it all up for my yard when we get home.

Which brings us to snake #1. As Gus as I enter the yard, I notice a long gray and black object frozen in place in the grass. Gus walks by it obliviously on one side with me on the other side and the leash passes casually over the snake’s body. Gah! We gather the neighbors and have a lengthy debate regarding the merits of killing him with a shovel (I was strongly in favor) and decide to leave him alone. He later goes down into the drainage sewer thinger on his own accord. This is about our 4th snake in as many years, so I wasn’t expecting to see another. Right? You’d think.

After arriving home from school today, I let Gus out and soon began to hear incessant barking. Because I care about what my neighbors think and I don’t want to get blackballed from the neighborhood, I went outside – in my bare feet – to get him. I thought he probably had a mouse. It was clearly his mouse bark. You can imagine my alarm when I saw Gus barking viciously at a snake that is coiled up and hissing at him with its mouth open. I saw little snake fangs and a little snake waggy tongue. There is really nothing cute about a snake. That snake was NOT happy with Gus, nor did it want to “play” as he did. I lunged at Gus and grabbed him and raced inside where I proceeded to almost have a heart attack. (Is that good for the Piglet? I doubt it.)

That is absolutely ENOUGH with the snakes! This was in broad daylight! And Gus the Idiot Beagle is about to hang himself on a curtain to get back outside. I don’t think I will ever allow him out there again! If you are interested in finding him now, he can be located by the backdoor, glaring at me and pouting because I won't let his get after his snake.

On another note, this is seriously going to interfere with my laying out.

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