Dear Students,

I know that the state of Texas mandates that we take all instructional posters and efforts off of the walls for The Test. I know that we have taught you everything in the curriculum and it is only mid-April. I know that it's 90 degrees outside and it feels as though it might be summertime. I even understand that there was a full moon yesterday. However, please remember that we still have six weeks of school to go.
I know that baseball, soccer, and softball seasons have started. I know that the time changed and you are allowed to play outside a little later. I have come to accept that you are just an Unfortunate Group of People. I pity your fifth grade teachers with an indescribable empathy. However, pumpkins, you have got to start acting like civilized human beings.
Sticking my brown markers in water bottles to make "tea" to give to people? Not really appropriate. Yelling at me because you didn't do your homework that you've had a month to do? Not so much my problem. The constant girl fights because "she didn't ask us first if she could like him?" Puh-lease.
My main concern is your pathetic apathy. I find it incredibly sad that you don't do your homework. I find it even sadder that your parents defend you when I bring this to their attention. My prediction that this is what our school would come to without grades has come to fruition sooner than I expected. Middle school is going to be a cold, hard slap in the face to you and I want to be there to see it all go down. I think it's lame that you don't take any pride in what score you might achieve on your state tests. I feel sorry for the 3-4 kids in our class who do care because I spend all my time standing on my head to motivate the rest of the class.
So, students? We have six more weeks together. They could be fun, but I suspect you will make them otherwise. I have never seen a group quite like you. A class? Yes. But never an entire grade level. I pray that you are not foreshadowing future generations.
I hope for your sake that the moon wanes, you realize that you are taking two Very Important Tests this week, and that you grow some scrap of respect for the adults who have tried to help you all year. I also hope that someday when your parents realize that they have no control over you that they think back to this time and think, "Boy, maybe I should've done an ounce of parenting back in fourth grade instead of giving into their every whim and idea and defending them to teachers who knew what they were talking about."
Happy Easter,
Mrs. Pigs