Wednesday, March 08, 2006


So, I go to the girly doctor today for my annual check up, and the nurse of course asks me to pee. I have serious performance anxiety when it comes to the whole pee in a cup ritual, but I have my techniques. Once in the bathroom, I relax.....turn on some trickly water.....and assume the Hover Position with cup in place. I close my eyes and breathe to relax and am just about to pee WHEN! WHEN!
The door begins to open! I panic! Do I stop the flow? Keep the flow? Hold the cup steady? Fling it at the door? It continues to open. My mouth doesn't work. I am mute. All I can do is wave the pee cup around and grasp for my pants. The door opens all the way and in [male] doctor.
"I'm in here!" I squeak desperately, stating the obvious as my pants bag at my ankles. I gesture with my pee cup as evidence. He looks alarmed, apologizes and walks out the door.
Here are my questions:
1. How do you gracefully recover from that?
2. Do you really think I can pee now?
3. What is it with me and bathrooms?

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