Tales From the Crypt

"Mrs. Pigs! Mrs. Pigs! I've got two really exciting things to tell you!" a breathless fifth grader panted into the door of my classroom after school, clearly bursting with news that could not wait. She was surrounded by a gaggle of girls.
"What is it?" I grinned excitedly. This girl was one of my lower struggling students from last year. She had always been shy and somewhat withdrawn.
"I got two hundreds on my spelling tests two weeks in a row, and I saved up to 20% on auto insurance by calling Geico! Bye!" the giggling herd darted away down the hall and left me shaking my head and trying not to laugh.
I was instantly reminded why I do not teach 5th grade. Strange and inexplicable things happen to them after Christmas break.
I wish there was a job in which I could teach ten year olds. I love kids from Christmas break of 4th grade until Christmas break of 5th grade. It's a narrow window. Let me know if you are aware of this job.