Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Two Thoughts, Make that Three

1. Who decided that baseball is more important than the OC? If I don't get an OC fix soon, I'm going to enter serious withdrawal. How on earth is it possible that more people would watch eighteen million hours of boring baseball that never ends instead of one titillating hour of the OC? I just don't understand. Laguna Beach is tiding me over, but it's just not the same genre.

2. What the heck is up with these long strings of impossible to read letters that you have to decode and type in like some kind of torturous typing quiz just to leave a comment on Blogger?

Me: I loved this post! Thanks for the laugh!
Blogger: Type this: eicmpeitnaqvcopxkmyvykwm [swirly funktified green letters]
Me: e....um....ic...mpe.....ina, no wait....in - where was I?
Blogger: Error! Please type the letters below!
Me: Ah, forget it. They know their post was good. Click.

Make that three things.

3. In what realm is this appropriate during my Teacher of the Year worthy writing lesson about adding emotions into your stories?

"Embarrassed! Confused! Flabbergasted!" yells the class enthusiastically, waving their arms in the air.

"Good, good!" I encouraged, writing feverishly. "Keep going!"

"Anxious! Scared! Downtrodden!" they exclaimed. (Okay, I made that last one up.)

"Great job! I need one more...." I cajoled, looking into the room. My Future Columbine Organizer raised his hand, leering at me, daring me to call on him. Pigs never backs down from FCO, I'm scared to allow him that control.

He paused for dramatic purposes. "Constipation." He stares me down.

The room got quiet. 42 eyes looked at me to gauge my reaction. I have yet to yell or even speak firmly to this kid and it's really getting under his skin. He's dying for a reaction from me.

"Well, I can see why you might be uncomfortable, but that sounds like a physical problem, not an emotion," I smiled cheerily and added the word "obstinate" to the bottom of my list with a flourish.

The students began to giggle, avoiding eye contact with FCO, as he maintains a certain level of scariness, even in the 4th grade. Afterall, who wants to be friends with the kid who shapes his fingers into a gun and fires at the teacher all day?

That's when I got 21 simultaneous questions:

Twenty people said, "What's obstinate mean?" and one person said, "Well, actually....I believe that constipation could cause some level of mental anxiety. Wouldn't that actually be an emotion?" Ah, Mr. Owens. If it wasn't for him, I don't know what I'd do.

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