Me: [perky, as always] Hello?
Office: Your 2:30 appointment is here.
Me: Okay, thanks! Send them on down!
Office: Oh, no. You need to come get them and escort them the 2.5 miles back down to your classroom. You see, they haven’t filled out their volunteer form or jumped through hoop C or D as mandated by the district.
Me: Well, they aren’t volunteering, I called them in for a conference, so you can just send them on down.
Office: No, no! They are considered a danger to children until they’ve filled out that form!
Me: Uh…don’t I teach their children?
Office: Other children. They might be a danger to other children. They can only be around their children in the office or the cafeteria.
Me: So, the cafeteria where all of the children are is okay, but not my empty classroom?
Office: Just come up and get them please. We need you to help us enforce the rule for safety.
Me: What about my safety? Do they look dangerous? They didn’t fill out that form, you know.
So that’s how I came to add yet another feature to my job description. I thought I went to college to become a teacher. Silly Pig! I’m now a:
And my new title, Police Escort!
-Pig Who Wears Many Hats