Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today's my mom's birthday. She's 57 and quite a fox. In honor of her birthday, I thought I'd make a list of things I learned about her.

1. She's in better shape than I am. She goes to the gym almost daily and somewhat addictively. She's buff.

2. If gossip was a high school sport, she would have lettered in it. She taught me everything I know.

3. She refuses to wear capris. I've tried and tried to no avail.

4. She also refuses to read - or watch - Harry Potter. Blasphemy.

5. She has the cleanest house of anyone I know. She can clean the whole thing in an hour and a half.

6. You shouldn't make her mad when she's holding a hairbrush. On the same note, when she starts counting, never let her get up to 3. Just do it.

7. She doesn't say bad words, and you shouldn't either. She might make you pick up rocks out of the yard for a week every day after school.

8. It turns out she was lying when she said that a boy would never go on a date with me if I kept eating spaghetti like that.

9. She's got a wicked backspin in ping pong that sneaks up on you.

10. She's very good at raising smart, beautiful, talented daughters if I do say so myself. Ahem....

Happy Birthday, Mom!