Saturday, February 26, 2005

I'm Growing an Antler

I firmly believe that I am entirely too old for acne. It's TAKS that's done it to me this week, that blasted TAKS test. That blasted TAKS test has made my skin blemish. Since Monday, I have had a festering ache above my right eyebrow. After 5 days of analysis, I am fairly confident that I am in possession of an emergent antler. Or possibly a horn. One cannot be positive at this stage of the process. And quite a process it is, too!
First, we have the inaugural ache. This pain prompts a great deal of poking and prodding on my part. I usually try to "wash it off," by overusing skin care products in hopes of stunting its growth and delaying its imminent arrival.
Once that strategy fails, the little devil begins to redden, possibly a result of my insistant jabbing, and mount into a bulging protuberance. This mound was what I wore most of the week. I probably had children write their TAKS compositions about it. My teacher seems to be growing a second head just above her eyebrow. What follows is the tale of what happened that fateful day...when her other head took over the school! Dun, dun, dun.... Anyway. I hope not.
So my colleage and I were discussing this unfortunate, neverending process in the car yesterday on the way to Starbucks. She happens to have a twosome on her face just around her mouth. We think hers might be tusks trying to develop. So we were both at stage two: swelling redness about Wednesday. By Friday, we had reached stage three: receeding swelling accompanied by incessant flaking, as a result of all of the drying products we had applied in an effort to shrink the mass growth. This flaking is punishment for messing with it in the first place. When the magazine say leave it alone, they're generally right. [Except for when you have some obvious popping situation...who leaves that on their face? Please.]
When you have a flaker, you have three choices. None of them are good ones. First, you could try to cover the bad boy up. This doesn't work, because with the flaking, it all comes off. Plus it looks bad to begin with because it's not smooth anymore. Second, you could peel the flaking off. This causes unstoppable bleeding. (Please see You Are Gorgeous for a refresher on what this can cause) (Okay, after looking for You Are Gorgeous, that is apparently not a story I posted on my blog, so will post below.) Third, you could leave it alone. Red, peely, and glaring atop your forehead, you could forego personal pride and just leave it alone. Yep. Those are your choices.

9 comments:

wanda said...

I'm sorry you are plagued with this affliction.I think it comes form my side of the family. Even though you are an adult, it doesn't stop. Leaving these things alone is best, but it's soooo hard to resist...sigh

GuusjeM said...

There are major zit breakouts at my school too - combination of stress and all the chocolate we have been injesting! We've had three days of "comfort food" potlucks - and of course chocolate is the comfort food of choice!

Anonymous said...

Have you tried applying a little benzoyl peroxide cream just on the affected area? If redness occurs, just put some Benadryl on top of it the next morning. Squeezing at it will make a giant red spot and it could possibly fill up again.

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Eddie said...

I looooove the big underground rocks that make a popping noise when you finally squeeze them. Especially when you get pus flinging against the mirror. Or you could just leave it alone like you're supposed to. Because that's what I'd do. ;)

Heidi said...

*ugh!* on the acne issues! I can relate. After going months without (quite possibly over a year...) I recently had a big one on the end of my nose. Stress, PMS, and tons of chocolate around Valentine's brought mine on. I feel your pain! :o)

Enjoyed reading your blog! It made me smile...

Julie said...

Oh, this zit stuff is too funny. I had one recently, centered neatly in the middle of my philtrum. I got these comments from my fascinated six-year-old daughter: "Mom, it looks like a cherry tomato seed!" "Mom, it's getting bigger!" "Mom, I can see it all the way from here!" Gee, thanks!

FunkyB said...

Your kids will do fine. I read your writing every day. Those kids couldn't have had a better prep than being around you all year.

I've told so many people in the teaching industry about your blog, future teachers included. We all firmly agree that you should write a book, and that your book should be required reading for anyone going into education.

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