Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I'll Show 'Em!

Hmmm. That was interesting. I didn't know my doctor's office escapade would be so controversial! I was craving some comments and I didn't realize that all I had to do was RILE people up! After reading the suggestions, it is clear to me that y'all need a review of some Things About Me. First, I am unable to be mean to someone's face. Talk about them behind their back? I'm your girl. But to the face, I'm waaaaaay too nice. I was downright affable to 'ol Vonda before I hung up on her. Secondly, I can do almost any foolish thing in front of kids, but I will not cause a scene in front of adults I don't know. Unless it's really funny. Which this was clearly not. So, based on all of the clever advice (my favorite being Joel's) I am deciding between two options.
1. I will go to my appointment, see the doctor, and then tell him why I am leaving his practice after getting my treatment.
2. I will cancel my appointment, stating the reason why, then I will write a letter politely, but firmly and mail it to the office and copy it to someone important.
That sounds threatening, doesn't it? "You'd better straighten up because I'm copying this to someone...really important!"
Say, that reminds me of my situation at work. In addition to my school not believing in grades, doors, or the teaching of spelling, they also frown upon classroom management. That is, you are encouraged to reward children (positive reinforcement), but you may not actually discipline them. This practice could be damaging to their self-esteem. WELL. I'm not really into self-esteem. I like kids and kids like me, but this feel good stuff is for the birds. This sugary sweet scenario just doesn't fly in my world, so my team and I came up with a behavior checkbook "system" cleverly disguised as positive reinforcement (technically, we could give them money for being chipper little dumplings and pleasing us, I suppose, but please.). In this Plan, we dangle a Super-Fun! privilege in front of them at the end of each quarter which they may only attend if they have the cash flow to afford it. Then we snatch all their money when they're bad. Mwa-ah-ah! But obviously, you clever readers, that's not listed in the system description submitted to the proper authorities.
Anyway, our last reward was the day before Christmas, so we have returned to - gasp! - no system. So I've spent my days delivering these lame empty threats in an increasingly daunting tone. Some of my milder ones began with "Stop it" or "Quit that" or "Knock it off." They have steadily increased to "If you don't straighten up, I'm gonna...I'm gonna...I said stop it" and "Cut it out or else...else...just quit it!" So you can see how truly intimidating I am capable of being. I stayed late today to get their new checkbooks copied so that the new system will be firmly in place tomorrow and I can resume saying things like, "Hey guys, I'm starting a new service! I'll put your chairs up FOR you for a reasonable fee of two dollars!" or the more chilling eye squint combined with a, "Bring me your checkbook" growl.
That's really been the highlight of my day. I have nothing clever nor witty to deliver. But you can see from my menacing intimidation tactics just what a dodgy dame I could be if I decided to lay waste to that doctor's office. I could! I could really smack it to 'em! I'd...I'd...well. You know.

4 comments:

Eddie said...

I like that checkbook idea! I wish it would work on college kids.

Cattiva said...

Ugh...bring back the discipline - for the parents - I say! Teachers should should not have to deal with kids with rotten behavior. You're a teacher not a babysitter. That was the point I was making over at my blog. Thanks for stopping by!!

Editor in Chief said...

I am not sure what I would do in your shoes, but I can tell you this. My reaction to that Vonda-woman would have been exactly the same. I'm SO non-confrontational! But living up here has made me learn to stick up for myself a little bit more, as no one else is going to do it, because let's face it, Yankees are just rude.

Your school district needs to re-evaluate a few things. Who decides the 'policy?' Aren't most administrators ex-teachers? What are they thinking?

Laurie said...

Definitely go with Option 1. That doctor needs to know what his staff is doing. Of course, he might really, really like Vonda in a non-professional way (if you get my drift) in which case it might not do any good. However, I used to work for doctors and they HATE to lose patients.